brenzi

If you're reading this, congratulations, you need to get a life. You win the prize for being the first reader of this boringasheck crap journal that I submit to, like, once a year.
I'd love to atually have an active blog that people actually READ and COMMENTED on, but how in the heck would I get readers? It's not like I have anything interesting to say.
So, yeah, I have't posted in like ten gazillion million years, but sometimes, you know, I just get the urge. Changes since my last post: I got over my 'emo' faze and started functioning normally again. Good riddance. I still have an interesting fashion sense, but I've dropped the homeless person look.
I no longer hate my uncle. Not that I ever did, but reading my past journal entry I realize he made me really mad...he's OK.
I made friend who ended up switching schools on me and now she's not talking to me anymore and I don't know why. So good for the self-esteem.
I'm in school, of course...well, right now I'm on X-mas break but i will be soon. I have a crapload of homework to do, which is part of the reason I'm writing this now because I've procrastinated doing it in pretty much every other way possible.
I went to Mexico, which is why I have a crapload of homework to do. Got a tan, made a friend from Chili, brought back a pretty bowl. Still suck at spanish.
I've gotten a hold of my anger and have been working harder and harder to concentrate on living my live for God and not myself.
I'm obsessed with MAC makeup. I think that being a makeup artist would be, like, the best thing ever. I got a 100$ Nordstrom card for Christmas and I spent it ALL on makeup. Yeah, I'm kind of a freak, but at least I have a hobby.
I'm more self-confident. I've realized that I can't love others if I don't love myself, and if I can't love others I can't be loved. Really it's just about taking care of myself properly and praying to God to help me with self-esteem issues.
Lots of change in a few months, eh?
Umm, yeah. Randommm.
Well, I better go, so, peace!

This is a hard question, because writing is a skill that you develope over time, with lots of practice. However, I would have to say that the person who most inspired me to write was my Grandmother. She would make up stories and tell them to me- always about girls my age, very exiting with tigers or bears and loud sound affects. I admired my grandmother and wanted to be just like her- so I told stories too! Soon telling them wasn't enough- I had to write them down, to edit them, to tell them to many different people. I started writing all my stories onto peices of scrap paper. Since my stories got lost quite frequently, my mother bought me a large black notebook for my seventh birthday. I was ecstatic. A book for me to write in! My very own book!
I started spending every spare moment writing stories, that is, when I wasn't memorizing poetry or reading books. Since I had no television or video games, these were my favorite pastimes.
Six years later, and these are still my favorite pastimes. I've gotten some of my work published and my ability to write has been quite handy over the years.
I'd say that there are two things that if I had never had I never woud have been interested in writing:
My Grandmother, and television.

Why is it that no mater how I dress, people always find some way to critisize? When I was nine, my clothes never matched. Then my parents wished I dressed like I was nine again. Then my clothes were always too tight, or hideously ugly. When I wore jeans my mom wanted me to wear skirts, when I wore skirts my mom wanted me to wear jeans. Now, I have finally found a style I like. I'm content with the way I dress, and I pay for all my own clothes, but this has been the worst ever.
Now, I always look like a "punk rocker" or a "goth freak" or "*sneer*emo*sneer*" or "THE EIGHTIES CALLED. THEY WANT THEIR CLOTHES BACK!!!!!" *laughter*
My mom's always begging me to dress preppy. She's all like "oh, you would look so cute in this AE shirt...!!" and she's aways trying to buy me ugly unflattering label t-shirts and cute little skirts. Gag!
My father, well, he just tells me I look like an eighties flashback r the music I listen to is stupid.
My brother...oh, man, my brother. he laughs loudly at whatever my parents say, gives me nasty looks, says whatever he can to insult me, such as "You look so ugly" or "that shirt makes you look fat" or "Bren's emo".
I hate to say it, but the emo thing is most annoying. Mainly just because they don't knwo what they're talking about, they have no clue what emo is, they just know it bugs me when they call me emo.
My uncle, his tesing never stops. My aunt doesn't try to hide the fact that the way I dress is very unclassy and I need therapy or something. My grandmother, she's always telling me looks are unimportant, yet I can tell she wants me to dress like everybody else too! I don't get that!
Don't think it stops at my family either. My preppy friend has made sure I know that she hates my converse shoes, she thinks they are ugly. People at school stare openly at me and whisper as I walk past. I get nasty looks from strangers sometimes, and nobody seems to mind gawking at me.
You may wonder why I still dress the way I do. And you know why? Simply, because I don't care what people think. I think they should keep their rude comments to themselves and that they are very conceited to think I should change the way I look to please them.
I like how I look. I like to stand out, and I know I'm not a posuer. I feel comfortable in black shirts, and I don't like wearing shorts or tank tops even in the summer. I like my skinny jeans,a dn I like my 'ugly' converse shoes.
My brother once showed a little bit of respect for me not caring what other people think, even though he soon went back to name-calling.
And that, to me, made it all worth it.
I'm getting another ear peirce. Not on both ears, just one. Is this common? No. Do I care? No. I like how it looks.
And that's all that matters.

Okay, if you don't like reading rants, go find some other journal to read.
MY BROTHER MAKES ME SO MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, so he has this really annoying thing going on, how he thinks he's way smarter than me, and I can't do things like he can. Like, if some one asks me to do something, he'll do it for me. It's very irritating. he thinks he owns the remote control. Last night, I was watching a movie and he came down to join me. He has this thing where he has to hold on to the remote the whole movie, and he is ALWAYS pressing buttons on accident (usually at the best part of the movie) well last night, I had the remoe and he TOOK it from me, and I tried to take it back (I mean, why does he need the remote? I am perfectly capable of turning on the TV, turning off the TV, and starting movies.) and accidentally pressed a button. He yelled at me, and I got one of his lectures. I mean, he does this stuff all the time (it's practically become his trademark) and I do it ONCE, and i get the "That was so stupid!" thing. I mean, hypoctrite much?
Anyway, today I was on the laptop in the kitchen, and mom asked me to see what the weather was tomorrow. "Okay." I said, happy that she had asked me for once, and not jake, like she thought I was capable. At least somebody does. Then Jake waltzed in and "Oh, I can do it."
I seriously wanted to punch his face off. That stupid, smug, ugly face of his.
"I am perfectly capable of doing it myself, as I am the one who is ON THE COMPUTER RIGHT NOW," I huffed angrily.
"Okay, okay." jake looked at me ike I had just grown a third eye. "What's HER problem?"
I looked up the weather and told mom, then went back to surfing the net.
Then Jake waled in again.
"It's gonna be slightly cloudy, with a chance of rain." He told her in that irritating "Aren't I the smartest thing ever?" voice.
I was boiling over. I slammed the laptop shut, walked out of there quickly as I could, making the most noise I could, then slammed the door so loud the house practically shook.
Then after that, my mom was annoyed with my borther and he was all "Whattt What did I do? Why is she angry?"
Oh, please. I agree he is thick, but not that thick. Nobody is that thick.
Maybe I should tell mom and dad to legaly change his name to Bren. He seems to think it's his name.

Well, tonights events...I went to my first youth group! Yeah, it's pathetic that I never went to youth group before but I never really wanted to. Until now. My brother said I could come with him, and we carpooled wih his two friends, Josh and Gabe.
And there weren't many other people. I go to a pathetically tiny church that might as well be called "Shed and a Bible". I was, sadly, the only girl there that asn't a youth leader. There were three other youth-leader-type gals who were a bit older than me, but they were all really ice. I felt welcome and i opened up myself more than I have in a long ime. I actually came out of my shell for a while and laughed during the games. I was like...enjoying myself! For the first time in...in...a long time.
Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. We played some cool games, like this one where we sit in a circle of chairs and there's one empty chair. One person is in the middle, and everybody moves over one chair, really fast, before the person in the middle can sit in the chairs. It's funny, because in my rickety old church all the chairs are breaking, so there's a lot of falling on the floor and tackling for a chair since nobody wants to be in the middle. Oh and sitting on peoples laps, which I thought was funny, cause they don't allow hugging the opposite sex but they allow lap sitting? Apparantly ;)
And another game where everybody takes off one shoe, and tosses it in the middle. Two youth leaders'll turn their backs and assign acting roles to the owner of the shoe, without seeing whom the shoe belongs to. Well, the person in the middle picked up two shoes. Mine, and my brothers.
"this one will be the girl, and the other one the boy." The youth leader predicted. "They're...
On a date."
Jake and I looked at each other, and exchanged expressions. Eeeeuwww!!
"The guy just had a big burrito, and he has really bad gas. they're at a movie theatre. And the girl is disgusted."
Oh, ok. Sick. Real sick. But we had to do it. It went something like this. There was no scrit or anything, we had to play by ear.
"So...how do you like the movie?"
"Shut up."
"I really like...*FART*...whoo! Is some one making popcorn??"
"Umm, yeah. This is a MOVIE THEATRE."
"*FARRRT* Umm...is there a skunk in here or something?"
"Yeah. It's you."
*FART* *FART*
"I...I really like you."
"I am SO done with you."
*runs away dramatically*
Of course, we were the finnalists, along with the man giving birth. The youth leaders chose to cast us as a guy engaging to a girl, because they are just sick and perverted like that. Luckily, though, I was the guy. It makes it a litle less sick. It went something like this.
"Oh...umm...how do y-you like the beach? Isn't it pretty?"
"My face is prettier."
"L-look at thise birds!"
"I'd rather look at my face."
"They're very...pecky."
"Yeah!"
"Gee...umm...seeing those birds together...kinda makes me think...
"WILL YOU MARRY ME?!?!"
"No."
*runs away*
And we won. Yay! What a victory!
Anyway, like I said, it was fun. Strobe lights, pool table, bible study, dodgeball.
(Dodgeball + Strobe Lights = SEIZURE TIEM!!!!!!)
Blah blah lah...I could go on forever. But you'd rather I didn't, and I'd rather watch CSI new york.
So bye for now!

Well, nothing real exciting happened today. I went to a log show. Yes, you read that right.
A log show.
Oh look! A log! Oh look! Another log! Ooh, let's climb the logs. Ooh, lets cut the logs.
Seriously. On top of the fact that the whole show consisted of LOGS, it was also pouring rain. And this annoying guy kept yelling "ICE CREAM!!!! GET YOUR ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!"
Of course. The one day of the week it has to be raining. Perfect weather, and then the day we have to sit and stare at logs it has to rain.
And...why the heck was he selling ice cream? I mean, people usually don't have sudden cravings for ice cream in the middle of a rainstorm. And I don't think anybody needed the sunglasses they were selling either. They seemed like very positive people. And maybe the whole log thing wouldn't have been so bad if it had been...say, an hour long. But no. It went on ALL DAY! The whole freaking day I was sitting on a soggy peice of cardboard watching guys in creepy lumberjack outfits try to climb up 60 foot poles. I mean, I could have been playing Zelda!
Not to mention I was with my grandparents, who not only want to murder me for being a vegetarian but every time I say "That sucks." or "Holy cow!" they look at me like I just said every swear word in the book, then give me a ten minute long lecture, but I was with my annoying uncle who has a problem with the way I dress. Actually, he has a problem with pretty much everything about me. He'll go "Oh, what are you trying to do, look all punk or emo or something?" even though he has no clue what he's talking about. He played music from my iPod in the car and pointed out that one of the songs on there was about a guy getting strung out on drugs, in front of my grandparents, who had even another reason to hate me for the rest of the day, even though it was a three dollar Nickelback CD I got at a garage sale and don't even listen to anymore. Seriously. He could win an award for "Most annoying uncle". Okay. that's pretty much the end of my rant.

Okay, now that I officially have ONE friend on LJ, it's time for me to start acting like I'm important enough that people read my journal! So I'm going to ask a question! Even though probably no one will answer!
What are you planning to do with your summer?
Since my summer has started, I am terrified to death that I will spend the entire time being bored and laze around every single day doing absolutely nothing and feeling extremely bored. So if you woud tell me what you plan on doing with your summer, I might pick up some ideas of what I could do this summer besides reading and writing and moping. Because I am just so uncreative that I can't even think of anything myself.
Book reccomendations are also welcome.

This would be, my first entry. AKA: The entry that is boring, because you have nothing to talk about, but just feel it is somewhat important to have an introduction.
So. Introduction. My name is Bren. Which you already know, if you read my profile, which you probably did, if you bothered to read this. But what would I know?
This is a journal. So I should probably say what happened today.
Unfortunately for you, nothing happened today! So I will bore you with the exiting details of the day when nothing happened!
I sat around, writing poetry and drinking coffee. If my mom had been there, I would not have been drinking coffee, since she is a neurotic freak who does not allow her children to drink caffeine, so they do it behind her back anyway. Fortunately, she is usually not there, so I can safely become a caffeine addict behind her back because apparantly her kids not drinking coffee is more important than the fact that they practically growing up neglected since she is never home.
Sometimes I think grown-ups are the craziest ones of all.
If you want to see what I was writing while on a caffeine high, you might visit my dA account where I post (almost) all my poetry. If you are THAT bored. Assuming you are, because you are reading my journal. Well it's brennny.deviantart.com for ye bored ones.
Have a nice day!
(not that I really care if you have a nice day or not, but it sounds good.)